Monday, July 03, 2006

Call it Operation: Lockdown



Ben Wallace signing with the Bulls just about makes my year. Ben to the Bulls pretty much defines that team as the apotheosis of this blog... and I am just getting it off the ground. You're so psyched, I know. Lucky for all that I'm a Chicago fan, living in Chicago (just not right now). The only possible thing better than this for this blog would be if the 93 Knicks got back together. And challenged this team of defensive supermen in the Eastern conference finals. Or perhaps if Anthony Mason started playing again, anywhere.


We hate the law so we break it


I don't know what the NBA record for team shot blocks per game is, but this season I'm guessing the Bulls' average will hover around 200. On the other hand, with Ben Wallace and Tyson Chandler as their starting frontline, can the Bulls muster enough offense to score more than 45 points a game?


Don't throw it to Stone Hands!

I'm saying dudes are bricklayers. Nevertheless, I feel this fact is largely irrelevant. Will scoring actually matter with this team? Perhaps John Paxson is asking us to reconsider the most basic of basketball conventional wisdoms. Now that they have Big Ben, it seems obvious that the Bulls must trade their only real gunner, the overhyped, undersized Ben "Jordan"/"Christ, WTF?!!" Gordon. Straight up for Reggie Evans or Bruce Bowen or something. Then move Noce up to PF while Ty2 gets ready. Fuck it, start Noce at 2; it doesn't matter! The Bulls are prepared to rip out their opponents stomachs and hearts. And eat their children. Nightly, dog. In Pax we trust!

Anyway, Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you your 2006-2007 Chicago Bulls:


My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious

81 seconds. Selofosha!


ps. fuck Shaq

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