Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Gift Card Arbitrage Opportunities

New for the holiday season. I can see the Knicks using Stephon Marbury's forfeited dollars pretty wisely here...

Gift-card Arbitrage

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

What a Fool Believes, He Sees

Kidd to the Mavs brings Devin Harris on board to caulk the leaks on the Nets long sinking ship. Oh, he came with like 9 bigs -- Nets are anticipating the scheduled injuries to Magloire, Boki and, (Rod Thorn sighs), Krstic this year. Larry Frank must have gotten the "Good planning makes elusive dreams come true" fortune cookie the other night. Let's hear it for Boy Geniuses!

Anyway, the idea of the total choir boy Harris being somehow corrupted by Marcus "Laptop" Williams amuses me.

I can see these two becoming fast friends. The body they push onto the highway together will be Vince Carter, after realizing he's playing alongside Stromile Swift at center for 35 minutes a game.

You can say it looks good but dude, you can hear the creaks!

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Why Don't You Play the Game?

What in the, I say...what in the??

Yosemite Sam, you are not the only one (or the only Sam) with your knickers in a bunch this week, trying to figure out how the Hornets are in first place in the West.

It really comes down to this: Chris Paul is the equivalent of this kid playing the solo on Daft Punk's "Digital Love"

He isn't the belle of the ball...

like a LeBron

or a Kobe

or even an Artest (please come to New York)

...but he's holding off Dirk like it's 1944

Actually BEING like a member of Daft Punk in my metaphor would be like being Dwane Wade, which, by the way, brings me to my next idea: I think I have a new logo for The Heat.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

God Frowns On Spliffs

Note: I don't use drugs or advocate using drugs. But the ridiculous question I was presented with this morning, as I checked my daily dose of nba NEWS for UPDATES is, 'Does the big guy with a beard up in the sky really frown on smokin A PLANT?'

"Get me some rizlas dog, them 2 inchers."

Does God even have an opinion on drug use??

Does anyone cares??!?

YES ACTUALLY! Apparently Tom Ziller of the aol fanhouse is not afraid to boldly blog where no man has blogged before. Here, he moralizes about recreational drug use among well-paid youths with infrequent deliberative cognition requirements! Or whatever it is marijuana likely impairs!

Please dear reader, do your best Earl Warren (King Solomon? Tom Ziller??) and chime in. Is marijuana usage a sin!? Says Udonis Haslem:

"Nah dog."

Next witness is the most-known-unknown 2006 Detroit Pistons. Could God ever be upset over this?!


Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Friday, December 14, 2007

Scotty Beam Me Up I'm In the Zone

According to KIA ESPN Gameday Shootaround's Fred Hickman, Emeka Okafor is "GEEKED UP" for this matchup against Dwight Howard.

Cash registers just rung in Fabo's ear.


Meanwhile Bill Walton was all "oh he's totally geeked up," whiter than you even thought possible, and then somehow locked onto a 10 minute (no joke) anecdote about this one mickey hart drum solo that seriously must have lasted a day and a half, so good. Actually I falls asleep whenever Walton starts talking so maybe it went different or whatever.

...and I could smell colors and...

Anyway, new slang, easy targets and trite observations aside, Dwight "Manhattan Island, Let Me Holds That" Howard is gonna get 15 blocks this game, those are colors I can smell. I (again) love this years Magic team, usually for the moments when Young Turk puts it on the floor. Career year or not, guy dribbles like a 5th grader...makes me wish Ariza was still around. Talk about geeked up.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Questions for the Madd Rapper

Tyrus is like, I just don't understand, why you so mad. Like, what are you so mad about?

"You see, I never lived up to my father's expectations either. It's like a cycle or some shit. Anyway, I go on Thursdays now too... Good talk, now back out there."

Not sure, but if you ask me it sounds like a 21 year old kid, who is the most exciting player in basketball, thankfully and finally got the better of a guy whose personal issues are clearly preventing me from seeing more outrageous dunks. What on earth is Scott Skiles like to hang around with when he's not coaching? Dudes' ulcers probably have ulcers. I imagine in his weaker moments cousin getting mad at even these ulcerated stomach sores, for not giving him all he can take. Shouldn't the Bulls require a genetic test for Skiles like he did for Eddy Curry's poor perforated heart? Only this one should be to see whether he is an incurable dickhead. Actually, what the Bulls need to do is provide Skiles a hug, a patient friend, and a pink slip. If you ask me Thanksgiving would be a whole lot happier if the Bulls would fire Scott Skiles.